is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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