u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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