Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
