i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
as a side note pls kill me
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
