We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
