He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
