The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
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