I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
