I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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