similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
