Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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