Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
