Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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