i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You are the jesus of drinking
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
