So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
