hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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