Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
