I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
