don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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