Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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