You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
