We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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