I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
