Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
