just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Everyone says I win the strip club
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
