Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize