your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
