Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize