Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
