South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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