And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
