my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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