a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
