My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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