i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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