so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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