batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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