question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I haven't been this sober since birth.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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