forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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