Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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