Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
