Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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