my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
if only i could text you this smell
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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