Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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