You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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