I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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