I wish I could punch you in the face.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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