i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I love having hate sex.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
