You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
