Reggie can tackle my bush.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
