New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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