And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
