FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
