After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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