Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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