She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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