so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize