I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
