Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Who wears a wallet chain?!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
