Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
