the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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